I’m feeling so refreshed and focused. A little bit like I’ve come back from a holiday, only my “holiday” was simply a good dose of “me time”. It all goes back to my phone call with my coach Jaclyn last Tuesday. I had just received some inconvenient news that day (more of that another time) and I have a trillion things that I needed to get through, along with an enormous wish list of things I would like to do… She observed pretty quickly that I was feeling a rather overwhelmed and suggested that I take some time out.
When I heard her say those words, I had a mild panic attack. Time out? Seriously, I had so much to do, how could I possibly do that? It would put me in an even worse off position than I was in then. At the same time I was so relieved that somebody gave me permission to do it.
I’m one of those people that constantly needs to be working on something. I have so many ideas and not enough time in the day. Being like that isn’t always the most effective way work though. Things can be jumbled, I work on something and remember that I need to do another thing, so drop what I’m working on and I end up with a load of unfinished projects and a very long list. I’m a creative, it’s the way I am naturally, but I’m working on it.
Jaclyn suggested that I put an autoresponder on for a couple of days, close the computer and just enjoy myself, read a book, watch trashy television. Anything but my regular work so that when I get back to it I will have more clarity and certainly a lot of focus.
Usually when the computer gets closed, it’s so that I can have family time, so time just for me, was a whole new concept.
My birthday was coming up on the Thursday, so I decided to work on Wednesday to tidy up lose ends, schedule my blog post for Friday and then sign off for a couple of days after. I saw to the most pressing things, did a brain dump (as Jaclyn calls it) onto paper of everything else that I needed to do and closed my computer very late on Wednesday night. I was still a little hesitant because the next two days are usually my “work days” when all of the kids are out of the house, but I was determined.
On Thursday I took it easy, I visited a friend, I wandered up the road and bought a (non interior) magazine and had a leisurely lunch by myself. On Friday after dropping the kids at school, I went to the cinema, alone. It was indulgent! It was wonderful!
Yesterday, I thought I’d re-adopt something that I started last year, only I didn’t follow through for very long… I put the iPhone away and had an internet free day, really meaning – no social media! Guillaume joined me and together we were truly present for our little family. I slept so well last night.
Here I am, writing this and yes beside me is a very long to do list but I know that I’m going to power through and it doesn’t scare me. I will continue with my family Sundays and every so often, I’ll give myself an entire day just for me.
Do you give yourself “me time”? What kind of things do you have in place to unwind?
Mel xx
P.S. This photo is of one of my beautiful sisters that I thought captured the subject perfectly
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Wot – u bought a NON interiors magazine?? I am shocked lady…
It is 7.15pm here in Scotland on a Friday night, we have had supper, early for us, because my son has gone out and I am just winding down after a day on a shoot (really, really lovely one…) by reading your brilliant blog – who needs wine? Seriously loving it, but I promise that I will switch off soon – have agreed to jump in the hot tub at 8pm with hubby and then will settle down and watch a thriller (French actually, called ‘Spin’) at 9… x
Hi Alison – sorry somehow this comment got lost.. You are the kindest:) I’ll have to check out the thriller you mentioned!
Hmmm, I always find it difficult to comment on these kind of posts. Why you might ask? I suppose because when I was going through this kind of stuff I never made it public (pre-internet) and was in long-term therapy. I also don’t always remember the journey and process because it seems like a very long time ago.
I’m always surprised to see how driven and competitive some of design blogging world is. I’ve never really been that way. Taking time out is a regular occurrence for me and I don’t have the word ‘guilt’ in my vocabulary (one of the many achievements of my long-term therapy).
One of the books that made a real impact on me in the early 90’s was ‘The Artists Way’ by Julia Cameron. That’s when I started having Tina Days and going alone to the cinema is one of my favourite pass times:-)
Good on you. I hope you can indulge more often:-) xx
I remember hearing about “The Artists Way” from somewhere, I should try to find it. The cinema day was amazing.
I’m sorry that you had to go through such a rough time and I’m so glad that you recognise when you need time out.
Big hugs, M x
Thank you for being so honest and open about this important topic, Mel. I can get busy too and forget about myself so I began implementing the practice of pausing…you know how much I love a good PAUSE. You are an inspiring woman and I am so glad we are connected. Please keep sharing these parts of your life, I find them so helpful.
With love,
Jocelyn xx
Yes that kind of thing is very you my dear. You’re the best teacher for that. xx
We have so much in common, Mel! I am also one of those people who is ALWAYS working. Just in my last post I mentioned that being a visual person I am getting that ‘eye-noise’ every time my eyes are open. But, being as creative as you are, I am constantly developing ideas – with just one problem: waaaaay too many ides, way too little time! And then there is the rest of your life. So this can bring you to your knees, and this is why I had to learn to listen to what is good for me. Just me! (I started painting again, I thing I have been neglecting for the pas 15 yrs) You can ask anybody who knows me well that I still get overwhelmed from time to time but I learned to shift my thinking from being the person who NEEDS to work all of the time to being a person who is ALLOWED & CAN work. But not all of the time. One step certainly involves an internet free time and the other certainly involves time for me alone. So if you are a little like me, you will find this oasis of just YOU fulfilling and will always come out a new person full of power!
You are lucky to have this gift of being so creative and driven – you enrich the community – we need you to stay that way ;-)
A. XO
Oh thank you so much Anastasia. Such a lovely heartfelt thing to say and write. I really like the idea of taking some kind of art up, like ceramics or weaving or something that’s a creative pursuit where you can get ‘lost’. I imagine it comes close to meditation wouldn’t you say? As for too many ideas, that’s where it’s good to have people around who are more practical and can help implement things. xx
Mel, I so recognise this! Glad you found some ‘me’ time, it’s essential to clear the mind. We really have to stop thinking that ‘we need to do it all’ and especially that it has to be done ‘right now’. Taking time out for yourself when you need it (and without guilt) is the best thing ever. For everyone. In the end, you get the same amount of work done (sometimes even more, or it clearifies that certain things just aren’t as important as you thought they were) and you’re a happier person. How is that not a good thing? To keep reminding ourselves is the tricky part ;)
xx
I think that doing it ‘without guilt’ is the tricky part. I actually can’t believe how much much work I’ve powered through since having a couple of days to myself. Guilt no more I say! Hope you do take time out also xx
Good on you! the craziest thing is that it’s only us who put this pressure on ourselves!
I intend to take me time quite a lot. I actually take it virtually never. That has to change!
xx
Thanks Leighann. It really is crazy. I think a lot of it is this mothers guilt thing also… I really recommend it – and also a day without any social media also. xx