You might have noticed this unintentional silence that I’ve had here for a while. It’s been on my mind a lot lately. To be truthful, I had completely different plans for this blog the past few months. I scheduled posts to play out during my transit from New Zealand to Sweden that featured some of the wonderful talent from the home I was leaving. I arrived in Stockholm, so excited to share my adventure, and then it happened. Blank. Complete and utter nothing. Here I was in an amazing new country and yet I felt I had nothing to write about. I didn’t understand it. And so, I kept silent. I wrote an occasional post, although I mainly only kept in touch via Instagram.
I thought a lot about why I wasn’t writing. I blamed it on not having an area to work from (yet). I blamed all of the paperwork I had to translate and respond to (there’s a lot). I blamed all of the boxes that still needed to be unpacked (only a couple more left). I blamed having less hours in the day because it takes longer to get to and from school drop offs. And yet, I knew deep down that these weren’t really the reasons.
Then I wondered. Had I outgrown my blog?
I sat on it for a while. I have to say that it felt really uncomfortable to ask myself that question and I didn’t bring it up with a soul. Was I about to give up on something that I had worked so hard on for years? Am I a quitter?
I thought about all of the other skills I’d like to nurture. I’ve always wanted to improve my photography, so I signed up for a course one evening a week. I’d also love to develop my styling, so I’m thinking of ways that I can branch out and take advantage of this. During this searching, one thing that stuck in my mind (and heart) is that what makes me tick like no other, is to write. This is something that I’ve said I’d like to do since I was at school. I have a novel in me already, so why not work on that story one hundred percent?
But what about Styled Canvas? Why did I lose my mojo?
I really don’t know. Stuff happens. I feel that it’s back though. I guess sometimes we just need time-out to reassess our priorities. I had a massive shake up last year with my health and then the big move. Perhaps I came out a little shell-shocked. Who knows? But I wonder, do really need to find an explanation? Do I need to overanalyse the reason or just, let it be?
I feel truly excited for the possibilities. I feel happy to reconnect with you. I truly love this space. Looking back, the time that I was most happy and fulfilled creatively, was when I was styling a scene, taking the photos and writing a post to go with it. It’s a package. It’s also my training ground for all of the above. But it’s also something else. It’s my little place of expression.
I have so many things to share with you. Life in Stockholm, gorgeous boutiques, cafes, hotels, trade fairs… My travels in Cyprus, France and most recently, Marrakech. And that’s just the beginning, so stay tuned.
As for the novel? I’m going to work on that too.
Big hugs and much love to you all,
Mel x
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I went through the same doubts last year. I hardly blogged for several months, I was just too busy to have the strength to sit in front of my computer in the evening to seek inspirations and write interesting things. I could of course take materials from other blogs and post it on mine. Tons of bloggers do it and they are pretty successful but this wasn’t the kind of blog I wanted to have. It took me months before coming back and changing the whole look of it helped me a lot to find the right inspirations to write again.
I’m happy you’re back again, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself … we are “too old” to stick to bloggers’ rules now, we’ve gone through all these in the past, now it’s time to blog at our pace :-) xx
It’s true. You nailed it – we’ve been around to long to stick to the bloggers’ rules. Big hugs xx
Oh boy, I hear you ;) Anyway, the photography and book(!) sound wonderful. Cheering you on! xx
Thanks Yvonne. Hmmm I’m starting to think there’s something in the air, or to do with the moon. Lots of people seem to relate to what I’m saying;-) Mel x
Dear Mel,
glad to see you back on the blog, I love reading your posts and I’m so excited to read more about your new home and about living in Stockholm as an expat.
No need to have a bad conscience for not writing here, we all need our slow down moments and after such a great change in your life you really deserve it.
Looking forward to reading more from you.
Big hugs from Düsseldorf,
Steph
Thank you Steph! Big hugs to you also and wishing you a great weekend. Mel x
Hi Mel. I feel you. I’ve been there myself, a part of me is still there. The BYW course is pushing me and oh my gosh it is hard. Yesterday’s blog post was the first in a couple of weeks and it was truly like giving birth… Very outdrawn and hard. But when it was done something clicked inside and now I’m overflowing with words. I find that when I at times get interrupted in my writing, by life events mostly that needs my undivided attention, I loose my voice. But my voice is not lost forever, it is still there. In slumber. And once I get started and let the words come out form my fingers dance on the keyboard its like an awakened spring creek. It flows. The more you write the more words will come . You will find it again. The mojo. I will find it to. Big hug. Great blog post. Thanks for sharing. You really have a very sincere and authentic tone in your voice. It makes you special.
xx
Annette
Maybe it’s that old saying of writers block? We don’t like to use that term but it surely exists. Love the analogy of giving birth ha! Well, you did to beauty yesterday;-) Thanks Annette for your lovely words. x
Ah Mel, as Corinne says you don’t need to justify. It may seem trite, but as women we’re terrible at taking care of ourselves [that old adage of putting your life vest on before you help anyone else never seems to apply in practice!!]. This was clearly your time to take a step back from those obligations that weren’t serving you…for now…and – relief – it has given you renewed energy and focus. You have gone through so much the last year or so and as a mama your focus [rightfully] has been on your 3 beautiful kids. Be kind to yourself. Congratulate yourself on where you’ve come and how you listened when that quiet voice told you to take a break. We need to listen to that voice a little more often. Glad you’re back and I’ll make space to sit down, just like Lolly, with a cup of tea and catch up on your travels. I look forward to it xx PS. I have a novel too I’m waiting to write – just need to sit down and begin ;-) xx
Ohh a novel too? Amy I can’t wait for the day that we get to sit down and have a good chat. Mel xx
Glad you’ve found your way back Mel. It’s always good to take a break. I only blog when I feel like it and only take on campaigns I like, otherwise I’d be a nervous wreck. Lovely to have you back. Looking forward to your travel posts. Xx
I think that’s a good way to do it. Like that you truly post something with substance… Thanks Geraldine xx
Big hugs Mel, love reading your posts but do appreciate some times a break is needed. You’re incredibly talented and very loved.
Look forward to seeing that novel!
You are so sweet Kelly. Thanks for your kind comments! Mel xx
We will always be here waiting for you :)
But I do know the feeling. Have felt it many times with my blog. Lost, uninspired, and loss of mojo perhaps. But again – like you – I love to write and have so much on my mind and stuff I need to share. So I keep going even though the going sometimes gets tough. Love to you – can’t wait to see what your take on Stockholm is.
Hugs always Axx
Thanks lovely. Yes it seems like so many of us suffer from it. Big hugs to you xx
Welcome back! Taking a break gives us time to recharge and reflect, and it sounds like you have done both. I’ve enjoyed following you on Instagram, and look forward to future posts here. They are always fresh and insightful.
I must say, you’ve been having quite the adventures! Take care of yourself and that wonderful family of yours – hugs.
Thank you Cyndi. I feel like my head’s spinning a bit I have to say:) M xx
Hi Mel
I’ve never given it much thought before, as my treat during my work day, is to get a cuppa and read through the blogs I follow, which all help and fuel my work as I design and product develop lights. Whenever there is a pause on a blog, it’s always great, when you see a new post ! Of course, not thinking of the other angle, the writer!!
As busy mums, juggling work, home, children …… I think we, very often put ourselves under too much pressure, I know I do (off to China this week for work and house, washing, school stuff, schedules of school events, are floating around in my head, let alone the work)! I think the pause that we all often have, is necessary, for us to take stock, regroup and give ourselves a moment. After all, silence can be golden. As you said your last year has been very intense. It is no wonder you needed to just be.
You are clearly meant to write and when you do, you deliver such a insightful and genuine account, whatever it is. Don’t ever doubt yourself, just remind yourself you need a moment. Then generally things have a way of falling into place.
Apologies for the waffle, I’m clearly not a writer!
Right, I really must get on. Good to have you back Mel. x :)
Lolly, like always you write the loveliest comments:) I love the silence can be golden analogy. So very true. Good luck in china, wow, sounds like you have a lot on. Mel xx
Dear Mel,
There is no need for you to justify your absence. You have been going through some serious life changes and challenges. The human mind is pretty smart at forcing us to pay attention to ourselves even if that means deterring us from doing things we love. Looks like you’ve been doing the right things by taking time for yourself :)
Thanks Corinne. It’s so important to be gentle on ourselves… I will continue to remind myself of that. Big hugs xx M
Yay! Glad you’re back Mel.
I totally understand the “loosing your mojo” thing… I took a bit of a detour from my business last year and feel all the better for it…. 2017 is going to be big though – with this space!
M xx
Breaks are a good thing! Glad you’re back to it also and yes… I’m pretty lucky with this space;-)
Don’t be too hard on yourself, Mel. I haven’t posted a thing for months what with pregnancy and our big move. It totally shakes up your routines and habits and once you stop it’s so hard to get started again. I hope you will keep posting but don’t worry if you need more time to reflect x
Thanks Bex. Yes I’ll certainly be a lot easier on myself that’s for sure. Hope you’re feeling well Bex! And wow, just like that I read that you had a little girl. Amazing. Lots of love and well wishes to you both xxx
Oh Lordy do I know all about this too. Mojo and life they are hard to handle sometimes. Sending moral support, huge hugs and breathing space.
Oh Mary, there seems like a lot of us lately. Hugs and moral support back at you xx